One question more than a decade ago made a lasting mark on the lives of Dewayne “D.J.” Batiste and his now former high school teacher Donna Porter.
Seconds after meeting for the first time in Porter’s Mississippi classroom, Batiste asked his teacher how long she’d been married and then flirtingly responded with, “Don’t you think it’s time for a change?”
Porter found the question to be inappropriate at the time, but her response would be the beginning of a lifelong journey and friendship.
Instead of reprimanding the teenage student, Porter gave Batiste the attention he was craving by complimenting his charisma and offering to let him lead the first few minutes of class each day.
“That question is so packed full of so much. It’s not a rhetorical question, it’s not a real “I want an answer, I’m really hitting on you, I need you to give me an answer right now;” it was a question that says “I need attention. I’m screaming for someone to notice my charismatic personality that I’ve used as a gang leader and have hundreds of gang members listening to me and my every word.” Did I know that? No,” said Porter. “But all behavior is communication.”
These days Batiste and Porter travel the county telling the story of how they met, including a presentation Tuesday with public charter school teachers at Knowledge Academy at the Crossings and Nashville Collegiate Prep.
It’s all part of a lesson on the impact “relationship-based teaching” can have on students.
Batiste says Porter’s teaching style probably saved his life.
When they met, Batiste lead a gang and had been expelled from Head Start. He says his education had been rocky from the beginning and filled with disciplinary issues, expulsions, suspensions, and more.
Batiste says he walked into Porter’s class expecting a teacher with “correctional officer” style and intended to catch her off guard by making her angry.
Instead, Batiste says Porter’s caught him off guard because until meeting “Mrs. P,” he didn’t know what a real teacher looked like.
“See, when I said what I said to Mrs. P, she never even heard my words. She broke me down and knew, “okay, I know how to save this young man.” See, I need ya’ll to have that same mind frame. Because once again, you’ll be surprised at how many D.Js been lost because we got caught on their words,” said Batiste. “There is no way you should allow me, the child, to control you. If you do, you have failed me. That’s the power of being a grown person.”
Porter showed Batiste what a teacher looked like by ignoring the urge to punish him for the inappropriate comment and instead identified what he needed most, attention and power.
The high school teacher gave Batiste both by making him the class greeter and putting him in a leadership position.
In doing so, she provided the trust and respect he says no other teacher had ever given.
“We were trained, in our defense, to punish bad behavior, reinforce good, and it will all work out. And that’s not true. Punishing bad behavior is not a good practice. Reinforcing good is never enough. And I feel like punishing bad behavior doesn’t transform behavior. So, what I did was I addressed his bad behavior and I just said it’s inappropriate. Leave it alone, work’s the best work. Address it, move on. Then I decided to give him some empowerment and trust him with that,” said Porter.
Batiste says those interactions with Porter were the first positive experiences he’d ever had in an academic setting, and it gave him a sense of purpose to be something more than a class clown.
In time the relationship formed in those first few moments carried Batiste away from a potential life with gangs to being the first person in his family to graduate high school.
It’s a happy ending that only came because a teacher cared enough to get to the heart of what her student needed, formed a positive relationship with him, and helped him succeed.
“I speak for the D.Js. Don’t get me wrong, I love ya’ll, but I’m here for the D.Js. And I’m gonna be honest, I just understand how much power you all (teachers) hold. I just understand that you literally control life and death in a D.J.,” said Batiste.
